"ODD, WEIRD AND STRANGE LAWS"

From the best-selling book, "UNDERSTANDING THE LAW: A PRIMER" (2008, iUniverse Publishers), by Attorney Charles Jerome Ware, comes the following funny excerpts:

- In Florida, by statute, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.  (Ouch!!!)
-In Florida, When having sex with another human being, only the missionary position is legal.
- In New York, the maximum punishment for jumping off a building is the death penalty.
- In New York City, it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing".
- In Alabama, it is illegal to play Dominoes on Sunday.
- Also, in Jasper Alabama, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.  (So-o-o humane).
- In Arkansas, it is against the law to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.  (Enacted clearly on a very slow day in the State Capitol.)
- In California, it is illegal to eat an orange in your bathtub.  (Message: PAY ATTENTION when bathing!)
- In Denver, Colorado, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.  (How un-neighborly!)
- In Connecticut a pickle, by official definition, is not a pickle unless it bounces.  (The "bounce" is in the pickle.)
- In Georgia, apparently in an effort to avoid indecent exposure, it is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades.
- In Delaware, getting married on a date is grounds for an annulment.  (And stupid, we might add.)
- In Arkansas a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
- In Tucson, Arizona, it is unlawful for women to wear pants.
- In New Jersey, it is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
- In North Dakota, it is illegal to whistle underwater.
- In Monroe, Utah, "daylight" must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
- In South Carolina, every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church.

"WILL SMITH IN COLUMBIA, MARYLAND"

This past Wednesday evening, July 2th, 2011, I was walking to my home from my neighborhood bar & grill at my golf course here in Columbia, Maryland when suddenly I met my old friend, film icon WILL SMITH, who was taking a nice evening stroll with his daughter.

Will, wife Jada Pinkett Smith, and their children are visiting with Jada's parents in their newly-renovated home not far from my home here in Columbia's Hobbitt Glen neighborhood.

Look for huge and successful entertainment projects from Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in 2012.

As background, it should be helpful to know that Will's wife, actress Jada Pinkett Smith, was born and raised in nearby Baltimore, Maryland.  Her mother, Adrienne Banfied, and her stepfather now live here in Columbia.

Jada Pinkett Smith attended the Baltimore School for the Arts, where she majored in dance and choreography.  One of her classmates was the now-deceased iconic rapper and actor Tupac Shakur.

"CONSUMER LEGAL TIPS AND SECRETS"

The following are excerpts from Attorney Charles Jerome Ware's new book, coming soon in 2011, tentatively titled "Consumer Legal Tips And Secrets".

Attorney Charles Jerome Ware is the former Special Counsel to the Chairman of the United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC).  His national law practice is headquartered in Columbia, Maryland, with other locations throughout the United States and the country of Colombia in Latin America.

1.  Credit Bureaus are not government agencies.  Typically they are private, profit-making companies that collect and sell your personal credit information or credit history.

2.  Credit bureaus make lots of money selling your personal information.

3.  In fact, the selling of your personal credit information is a multi-billion dollar business annually.

4.  The so-called "Big 3" major credit bureaus in the U.S. are Equifax, Experian and TransUnion.

5.  Credit reports are frequently wrong; particularly credit reports generated by the so-called "Big 3" major credit bureaus.

6.  Further, credit reports are always biased against the consumer --- that is, you.

7.  For example, a major bias exists on the part of credit bureaus against the inclusion of positive or good credit information in your credit report or credit file.

8.  In many years of experience, I have yet to see a credit report or credit file that, for example, accurately and truly reflects a positive payment history of anyone.

9.  The alleged "one credit score" for each person or consumer is a myth.  No such thing.  There usually are several "credit scores" at the same moment in time for each consumer, from different money-making credit bureaus.

10.  Your so-called "credit score" is allegedly calculated using a so-called "algorithm": an intimidating word meaning a complex mathematical formula that absolutely nobody understands.

11.  And, it gets worse.  Allegedly this so-called credit score algorithm is "proprietary" in nature.  This means this "algorithm" hocus-pokus is treated like a secret.  A huge money-making secret.

12.  There are probably numerous people around the world who have the individual knowledge and skills to an atomic but virtually no individual has the single knowledge to understand the credit score algorithm (or, I guess, manufacture Coca-Cola).

13.  In general, credit cards should be treated as your ENEMY; not your friend.

14.  Avoid, if at all possible, signing any contract that contains a "confessed judgment" clause.

15.  Remember the wisdom of CONTRACTS: The BOLD (large) print in a contract giveth, and the Fine (small) print taketh away.

"THE IMMIGRATION PARADOX: 15 Tips for Winning Immigration Cases"

Excerpts from this book, published in 2009 by Attorney Charles Jerome Ware, formerly the youngest U.S. Immigration Judge in United States history.

Immigration, and in particular, undocumented or so-called illegal immigration, is a heated subject in modern-day politics.

As a former United States Immigration Judge, I have always been amazed by the lack of knowledge shown by our elected officials particularly, and the American public generally, over the issue of immigration. As a result, I believe, views on immigration tend to gravitate towards the extremes.

In a nation of immigrants, in which the land was taken from the natives by immigrants, the established immigrants either despise new immigrants to the extreme or adopt new immigrants to the extreme. This shortage of centrist immigration views over time has, again, contributed to the “immigration paradox” that I discuss in this book.

"ANDREW YOUNG and MARTIN LUTHER KING III": Client update

Former United Nations Ambassador, U.S. Congressman, Mayor of Atlanta ANDREW YOUNG and Martin Luther King III are on schedule to launch their over-the-air television network, "BOUNCE TV"", this fall of 2011 out of Atlanta, Georgia.  The new network, designed specifically for African-American audiences, is scheduled to air 24 hours a day and seven (7) days a week.

"DONOVAN MCNABB and the Minnesota VIKINGS"

Look for former Philadelphia Eagles and current Washington Redkins quarterback DONOVAN MCNABB to play for the Minnesota Vikings this new National Football League (NFL) season (2011-2012).  Donovan will be a better fit for the Vikings over the Redskins, whish has demonstrated itself to be a less-than-classy football franchise.

"NIGERIA, CAMEROON, OPRAH WINFREY and MPAA": Client Updates by Attorney Charles Ware

NIGERIA:  The illegal drug war in the Federal Republic of Nigeria got a shot of adrenaline (pardon the pun) recently in the Nigerian city of Lagos with the discovery of a large clandestine drug laboratory used to manufacture methamphetamine.  The raid was implemented by Nigeria's National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA).

CAMEROON:  The North American Baptist Conference's (NABC's) short-term mission agency, Gateway Teams, is assembling an open team of missionaries that will be heading to the country of Cameroon, West Africa in July-August 2011.  The team will serve together with Cameroonian youth working with children in sports and other opportunities for religious fellowship.

OPRAH WINFREY:  Can "The Katie Couric Show" continue the same magic for ABC affiliates as "The Oprah Winfrey Show", starting in September 2012?

"The Oprah Winfrey Show" ran for 25 seasons and was consistently the highest-rated talk show in television history.

Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) Ratings Bulletin:

The Ratings:
G:  GENERAL AUDIENCES.  All ages admitted.
PG: PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED.  Some material may not be suitable for Children.
PG-13:  PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED.  Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
R:  RESTRICTED.  Under 17 requires accompanying parent or legal guardian.
NC-17:  NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED.

All information is provided courtesy of the Classification and Rating Administration of the Motion Picture Association

"Client Updates: Attorney Charles Jerome Ware"

Amy Winehouse: Grammy Award-Winning British Pop/Blues singer was found dead in her London home on Saturday, July 23rd, 2011.

Hugh Grant:  Actor/film director Hugh Grant is saying film acting is a "miserable experience" and he may "retire" soon.  Don't count on it.  Hugh's film career still possesses high value.

Danny Glover:  Actor/Activist Danny Glover visited a men's suit factory in Brooklyn, Ohio, in support of the plant's workers.  The factory is scheduled to shut down next month (August) and will lose 375 employees.  Workers at the Hugo Boss plant cheered Danny as he toured the operation in support of them.

Deepak Chopra:  This Fall, Dr. Deepak Chopra, the internationally renowned author and expert on mind-body wellness, brings new meaning to video games with "Deepak Chopra's Leelah".  The new video game, to debut on November 8th, 2011, will blend "ancient philosophies with the newest home entertainment technology".

Donovan McNabb:  Forget the rumors about the Philadelphia Eagles signing the 42-year old Brett Favre as back-up quarterback to Michael Vick.

We have it on good authority that the Eagles will bring back Donovan McNabb as back-up quarterback before even considering Favre for the role.

"CONSUMER LEGAL TIPS AND SECRETS: Avoiding Debtors' Prison in the United States," by Attorney Charles Jerome Ware (2011)

Excerpts from Attorney Charles Ware's soon-to-be-released book, "Consumer Legal Tips and Secrets: Avoiding Debtors' Prison in the United States" (2011):

SURPRISE!  “Debtors’ Prison” (debtors’ imprisonment) exists today in the United States.  That’s right… you can go to jail in the United States today (in the year 2011) over a debt owed, even though you have not committed a crime [Chapter 19, “Avoiding Debtors’ Prison in the United States”].

         

“Produce the note!” is probably the most important phrase or statement a homeowner can make when facing foreclosure on his or her home [Chapter 4, “Fifteen (15) Tips for Avoiding Foreclosure”].  It is no less than remarkable how many times your promissory note on the property can be misfiled, made unavailable temporarily, or even lost between the transfer of your housenote from one creditor (mortgagor) to another.

Credit reports are frequently wrong… and, they are biased against the consumer [Chapter3].

For American credit card holders, the average credit card debt amount per holder has been estimated by some authorities to be $15,788.00 [Chapter 9, “Four (4) Things Not To Do When You Are In Debt”].

            It has been guesstimated by at least on reliable source that it would take more than 40 years for the average consumer to pay off most credit cards by making just minimum payments [Chapter 9].

Client Updates by Attorney Charles Ware: Sir Speedy, Inc. and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA)

Sir Speedy, Inc:
Nearly 200 awards were presented to franchises and salespeople on July 6th, 2011 at the "Sir Speedy, PIP, Signal Graphics Convention & Vendor Show" in Las Vegas, Nevada.  The company also received a 2011 Franchise Satisfaction Award earlier this year from Franchise Business Review.

Motion Picture Association of American:
Congratulations to former United States Senator Chris Dodd for his recent appointments as Chairman and Chief Executive Officer for MPAA, which serves as the voice and advocate for the U.S. motion picture, home video and television industries around the world.

"DONOVAN MCNABB AND THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS"

Despite official reports from the NFL's Indianapolis Colts that the team's superstar quarterback, PEYTON MANNING, is progressing well in his recovery from recent neck surgery, the team is secretly considering its options for a back-up.

The Redskin's Donovan McNabb is being considered, among other NFL quarterbacks, for back-up to Manning.  McNabb's $12.5 million a year salary, however, is a problem.  More to come regarding McNabb, Manning, and the Colts.

"MENSA: The High IQ Society": By Attorney Charles Jerome Ware

OBITUARY of Dr. Lancelot L. Ware, OBE, Fons et Origio of MENSA; Born June 5, 1915, Died August 15, 2000.
Scientist, barrister and polymath, Dr Lancelot Lionel Ware will perhaps be remembered best as the founder of Mensa, the high IQ society. In 1945, a chance meeting on a train between the young scientist and the Australian Roland Berrill, an eccentric enthusiast qualified in Law, led to the formation of a society which today boasts over 100,000 members around the globe.
Dr Ware died unexpectedly at a Surrey nursing home at 7.00 am on Tuesday, 15th August 2000. He leaves a widow, fellow barrister and Mensa member Francesca Quint.
Lance, as he was know to his friends, was born in Mitcham, Surrey, the firstborn of a business man father and musical mother. His father invented a type of artificial leather but lost out in a take-over of the company, leading to Lancelot having to move schools from Steyning School to Sutton Grammar School. A bright young man, he became a Royal Scholar at the Imperial College of Science and Technology, London reading Mathematics and followed this with a PhD in Biochemistry. Medical research with Sir Henry Dale at the National Institute of Medical Research, Hampstead followed as he became a non-clinical medical researcher and lecturer in Biochemistry at St Thomas Hospital, London.
The war interrupted his career and Ware found himself at Porton Down, the secret research establishment. But not for long. He found a way to do in three days what was taking three months, 'so parted company with them'.
Leaving the Official Secrets Act behind, Ware continued working as a scientist at Boots, Nottingham and it was around this time that he became aware of IQ tests - he had a sister Elaine, ten years younger, whom he had to educate, and he took his responsibility very seriously.
In 1945, when war ended, Ware went up to Oxford, to Lincoln College, to read Law. It was here at Oxford on 1st October 1946 that Mensa was formed.
Originally, the intention was to include only the top 1% of the population, but an error in computing standard deviations on tests later led to the 98 per centile becoming the sole qualification for membership of Mensa, as it remains today.
In 1949, Ware was called to the Bar by Lincoln's Inn and he practised in the Chancery field, specialising in intellectual property, copyright and patent matters. He was also very interested in Conservative politics, becoming an alderman of the old London County Council in 1960s, at a time before the GLC was formed. In particular, he was interested in the local authority influence on education. While an alderman, he was appointed as the council's representative on a number of different charity governing bodies, including Imperial College, St Thomas' Hospital, LSE, the City Lit, St Olave's and St Saviour's Grammar School Foundation, the College of St Mark and St John and Wye College. He was also a trustee for many years of the Shakespearean Authorship Trust, concerned with finding out who wrote the works of Shakespeare and at one time, kept the library of works at his flat in Lincoln's Inn. The group is still active.
By 1950, Ware had left Mensa - mostly because he was very busy with his politics and law. However, after Roland Berrill died in 1961, he was persuaded to rejoin the society, though he remained inactive until the 1970s. In 1980, he married Francesca Quint, whom he met when she advised him and his trustees on one of his charities. She is a specialist in the law of trusts and charities.
In 1983, he joined the Athenaeum Club, a meeting place for distinguished intellectuals and bishops. At this time, he was awarded an OBE for services to the Institute of Patentees and Inventors, of which he was Chairman for many years. Francesca Quint says her husband would have thoroughly approved of the new 'global ideas factory' recently announced and licensed by International Mensa to use the Mensa name, which seeks to put inventors in touch with financial backers to realise their dreams. 'He was fascinated by the use of the mind for creative and inventive purposes,' she added.
Ware retired from the Bar in 1985, at the age of 70 and went into an active retirement, living in Surrey, London, Exeter and Surrey again, where he liked to spend time gardening. He was a practical man, keen on doing his own domestic repairs. He built up a collection of useful bits of wood.
In 1987, when a new international constitution was introduced, Lance Ware was given the title Fons et Origo, in recognition of his claim that he had the original idea of the high IQ society. His wealth was books and he had a great collection of them. 'Two things were very important to Lance,'
Francesca Quint said, 'He always believed one should not be ashamed of being ignorant, only in doing nothing about it, and he always assumed that women were completely equal to men.'
Ware loved to meet other Mensans, particularly from other countries, and he travelled extensively through Mensa, visiting Malaysia, Canada, the USA, Bulgaria, France, Slovakia, Hungary, Ireland, Finland, Portugal, Germany and Austria. He visited the latter several times, including most recently and at the age of 84, the 1999 Mensa Austria Charming event. He generally travelled alone. He was a Fellow of the Royal Asiatic Society, a learned society which specialises in the East. "We hope that Mensa will have a role in society when it gets through the ages of infancy and adolescence," said Ware in 1996 while on a trip to the USA to celebrate the Society's 50thanniversary,"But at least it has satisfied its members."
The last honour Dr Lancelot L Ware received was in 1999, being made President of the Mensa Foundation for Gifted Children, a body which combined two of his great interests - education and charities.
Ware had the intellectual versatility one would expect from the founder of such a society as Mensa. Almost until the last, his mind was wonderfully agile - it shone through the ageing process of his body. He played chess, real tennis and rackets and loved classical music and the countryside. One opinion he changed in later life was his feeling towards animals. In early years, he was clearly quite clinical about the experiments he had to carry out on animals in the pursuit of medical research. He later saw animals with more humanity and as deserving of respect.
Ware wanted to leave his body to St Thomas' Hospital for research, but regretfully that wish could not be granted, as his sudden death required that an autopsy be performed.
As Lancelot Ware was the founder of Mensa, Victor Serebriakoff, who died on January 1st, was surely the builder. There had been a difference in outlook between the two men over the years, which at times was quite visible.
However, they did make up their differences in the end, with Serebriakoff inviting Ware to lunch at his home at the Paragon, London, from which trip Ware came back well disposed towards his old rival. It is ironic that both of the grand old men of Mensa died in this Millennium year. Mensa will never be the same without them.
The cremation will take place next Wednesday 23rd August at Guildford Crematorium, at 3.30pm. No flowers by request and donations should be made to an animal or environmental charity of choice.

"JENNIFER LOPEZ AND MARC ANTHONY"

Despite their announcement of a DIVORCE after seven (7) years of marriage, singer/actress/dancer Jennifer Lopez and singer/actor Marc Anthony will still launch their first television project, iQ'VIVA!, in which the two stars travel throughout Latin America searching a la "American Idol" for undiscovered talent.

"SIMON COWELL": Judging of the Judge by Attorney Charles Ware

Look for former "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell to pull out all the tops for his latest entertainment venture, the high-stakes television show on FOX network, "The X Factor".  He will be an on-air participant.

The winner of Simon Cowell's new game show on FOX will receive a $5 million SYCO record contract deal.  FOX television alleges that this will be the largest guaranteed prize in television history.  Cowell's new "X Factor" show format has proven itself already in several countries since its debut in 2004 in Great Britain.

SYCO is a joint venture between Cowell and Sony Music.

FOX, of course, is a subsidiary of News Corporation, which is currently in the throes of a scandalous bribery, eavesdropping, telephone hacking, and influence-peddling investigation in Great Britain.

"DONOVAN MCNABB UPDATE": Attorney Charles Ware

As the National Football League (NFL) season approaches, assuming the "lock-out" ends in time, look for current Washington Redskin quarterback Donovan McNabb to be traded to either the Eagles, the Vikings, or the Tennessee Titans in a back-up capacity.

"THE ECONOMIST, RUPERT MURDOCH, NEWS CORPORATION: Charles Ware's Update"

Billionaire Rupert Murdoch's publishing empire in Great British is under siege.  His publishing empire in the United States---including newspapers, magazines, television stations and film studios, among others---will soon be.

Look for Murdoch's hugely successful FOX enterprises to come under attack immediately.

Increasingly, British actor and film director Hugh Grant is becoming a hero in the Murdoch/News Corporation bribes and eavesdropping scandal involving the British tabloid "The News of the World."

Recently Rebekah Brooks, the editor of the "News of the World" was arrested in London for her alleged role in the mushrooming scandal.  Look for more arrests to come.

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